Unsaid

You know that whole storyline in You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan's character never gets to say what she wishes she could say in the heat of the moment? 

I have the same problem.  I'm always just so taken aback by the situation that I can't process what is seriously happening in the moment.  Two very specific instances come to mind: The Time I Went Grocery Shopping With L After a Nationals Game and The Time I Was in a Non-Collision Car Accident.  We'll be focusing on The Time I Went Grocery Shopping With L After a Nationals Game for the purposes of this post.

So, L and I went to the grocery store after the Nats game.  We're perusing the produce section and we decide that broccoli is going to be on this week's menu.  L immediately escapes to the front of the cheesecake factory that was the produce section on a late Sunday afternoon while I saunter over to the broccoli.  There's a teenage girl with her younger sister already looking at the broccoli and debating what size meets their mom's instructions of "not too big".  I reach the display case and start debating crowns versus stems (that were bundled 3 to a bunch), right as the girls pick up a head of broccoli that starts a broccoli avalanche.  I had a cookbook in my hands (Peace Meals, in case you're wondering, and I have absolutely no idea why I didn't leave it in the cart with L) so I could only catch one head of broccoli.  That leaves one bundle of broccoli that flies by my side on the left (the girls were to my right) and hit the floor.  The girls grabbed their broccoli and took off, and I gingerly replaced the broccoli that I'd managed to catch on the pile.  As I was putting that broccoli crown up, I saw two others that I wanted to get, so I started to pick them up.  That's when an elderly man charges at me out of nowhere and gets right up next to me and very loudly says, "YOU THINK YOU CAN'T PICK UP THE BROCCOLI YOU THREW ON THE FLOOR, LADY???" and then angrily puts the broccoli back on the pile in the case.  I was so taken aback- I'd just walked up and caught falling broccoli and then gotten blamed for the whole thing and then berated for not picking it up within 30 seconds.  I didn't know how to react.  And this is where I wish I could have said something different.  If I'd had my wits about me, I would have nicely but firmly explained that I didn't throw anything on the floor and that I wasn't just not picking it up, but I hadn't gotten to it yet.  Clearly my hands were full with the cookbook and broccoli.  So what did I say instead, "Oh- uh- wow- uh... I'm really sorry!"  Yeah, I apologized.  For something I didn't do.  That man made me feel like I had really done something wrong.  He was seriously so mean about it.  There was absolutely no need for that.  But the fact that I was so surprised by the whole incident, start to finish, AND the fact that my very southern, very non-confrontational mom ingrained it in me at a very early age to respect my elders, get along with everyone, and not ruffle feathers resulted in me apologizing.  If I'd been Mrs. FBI or SRG, I would've said exactly what I only wish I'd said and probably asked him not to speak to me that way, particularly since he didn't know me or what kind of person I am.  For the record, I'm totally that person that picks up after myself at movie theaters, concerts, and sporting events (this annoys L because he, on the other hand, thinks it's okay to leave the trash at our seats because the venue has staff to clean it.  My argument?  Those people have one less mound of trash to pick up and can maybe go home a little earlier.  Who doesn't like getting to go home early from work?  It's just being considerate).  If I'm shopping in a store and decide I don't want one of the items I have in my hand, I refuse to just put it down wherever I am- I take it back to where I found it.  I hang my clothes up in dressing rooms and take them to the "reject" counter if the store I'm in has one.  Basically it comes down to this: I am a considerate person and I don't like some old man making a false assumption about me and then being mean to me as a result.  And ultimately he got away with it because he's old and I don't want to be disrespectful to an old person.  Grr. 

I told L what happened and he immediately wanted to give the man a piece of his mind.  While very nice and chivalrous, I insisted that he not make a scene by saying anything. 

I've said enough on this subject for one evening.  I'll tell the tale of The Time I Was in a Non-Collision Car Accident another time.