I Think I'm Paranoid

For those who may not know, L travels quite frequently for work (for example, working in NYC for all of May, although normally he's only gone for 3-5 business days at a time).  Don't worry, I'm not paranoid about him cheating.  I just realized that if you don't know us, that might be where your head goes first.  No, after living by myself with pretty much no problems for 5 years, I have become the crazy lady who is paranoid about being at home alone. 

How so?  Well, I long ago adopted the policy of not answering the door when I'm home alone if it's someone I don't know.  It's not something that happens often, but when there's a knock at the door 3 times in one afternoon, as was the case on Wednesday, it starts to mess with my head.  I mean, I definitely hid.  Yeah, hiding was my first instinct.  And we're talking full-on crouching on the floor and duck-walking over to the front door to look through the peep hole in the door.  Also, I always feel like if you're at our door, you can tell if someone's looking through our peep hole, because ours is huge and a lot like a telescope.  You can aim it and everything.  Anyway, my door knockers never left anything, so it was probably the same overly persistant person but who knows.  Better safe than sorry! 

Our house is also very creaky at night.  That means I have to sleep with the bedroom door shut so I can't hear the noises out there.  In case you're wondering, I also have a highly active imagination and the first few times L went out of town and I was left here, I could have easily been convinced that we had a ghost.  Not the case anymore, but I was totally freaked out because it sounded like someone was walking through the back of the house on all the creakiest spots on the floor. 

Last night I hit a new low, though.  In addition to sleeping with the bedroom door closed, I also usually turn on a movie and fall asleep with it on in the background when L is away.  I didn't want to watch any of the ones in our personal library, so I decided to watch one on demand.  I should take a moment to explain what kinds of movies are acceptable for falling asleep.  I need something light that I've seen a million times.  Prime examples would be Legally Blonde, Can't Hardly Wait, When Harry Met Sally, Forgetting Sarah Marshall... the list goes on and on.  But nothing scary or even close to it.  As I scrolled through the available movies that we get for free through On Demand because of our HBO and Cinemax subscriptions, I had a hard time picking one.  There were lots I want to see, for example, I've never seen Fatal Attraction, but I'm smart enough to know that a movie about a crazy lady who cooks the family pet is not a good one for me to watch by myself.  Sleeping with the Enemy is really good but HELLO CREEPY!!  Again, totally out.  I paused on Home Alone and almost selected it, but then I ruled it out because it's basically about two robbers trying to break into a house when they thought no one was there.  Yeah, that's right, HOME ALONE WAS TOO SCARY FOR ME LAST NIGHT.  Houston, we have a problem. 

I've known for years it's never a good idea for me to get sucked into TV shows on TLC and A&E about supernatural/ paranormal activity if it's dark outside.  My mind will run away EVERY time.  But Home Alone??  Yeah, apparently I'm a huge scaredy cat who hides from people at the front door and who gets scared by G-rated movies.  I really don't even have anything to say in defense of myself.  Please feel free to ridicule.