You better shop around

Once L and I decided we were going to buy our new place, we started discussing which furniture would make the cut and move with us and which pieces would be put out to pasture.  I was prepared for this; I knew he had strong feelings about the fact that mostly we only used my stuff from my single days or bought brand new stuff for our current place.  (In my defense, I had a full apartment of furniture that coordinated because I lived by myself for so long.  I didn't have anyone to contribute to the furniture.  On the other hand, L always had roommates and really only ever had to contribute his bedroom furniture and a sofa, and he sold the sofa before he moved up to VA, although he did replace it.  But why break up the matching stuff to use some random pieces of his when what he had was left over from college?  Do you want to use boy furniture from college in your home?  No matter how clean your boyfriend or husband is, the answer is probably not.  Especially when college ended more than a decade ago for your boyfriend or husband.)

We both agreed that it's time for new living room sofas and that we probably would like a sectional.  The first day we shopped for ideas, we went through Bassett, La-Z-Boy, and Havertys.  Y'all, La-Z-Boy is pretty much my own personal hell.  Why?  Because in a perfect world, I'd be able to convince L that we should get a sofa that would be a genre that would include something like this:

It's hard to see it, but there's a nailhead trim around the arms. But while I love the nailhead trim, I realize it won't be in for forever, so this sofa won't be invited into our home.

And yet, we spent an hour and a half in La-Z-Boy looking at sofas that look like this:

Champagne and Sprinkles and I call these sofas Muppet sofas (just throw some googlie eyes on the back part of it and you'll see what we mean) or marshmallow sofas.  Not only are they unattractive, but they are huge and very expensive.  What I learned about La-Z-Boy is that EVERYTHING must recline (NO) and not only that, but Americans are now too lazy and fat to pull the reclining lever with their hand; everything must be power-operated.  You know what we do NOT need?  A COUCH THAT REQUIRES A POWER OUTLET.  I was so over the store the second we walked in.  And we weren't even done for the day!  We still had Havertys left to go through. 

The second day we shopped, we went to stores that I selected.  This entailed spins through Arhaus (who makes a line of sofas that are classified as apartment sofas, which made me think of the episode of Friends where Rachel's sister buys pants and calls them apartment pants), Z Gallerie, West Elm, Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn, and Crate and Barrel.  What I'm looking for: something attractive, not too modern, not overstuffed, and something that is not so deep that when you sit down your feet don't touch the floor.  When you're an adult, it feels really stupid to sit on a couch and not have the ability to put your feet on the floor.  This is proving to be incredibly difficult and I honestly do not understand why.  A few ideas of what I have in mind:

Pottery Barn's Comfort Square

Custom sofa from Bassett

Pottery Barn's Turner Collection

Do we see a general theme going here?  And yet, we walked out of La-Z-Boy with a price estimate for this:

Horrible.  It's huge, it reclines, it looks marshmallow-y... it was just bad.  To be fair, I think L was trying to be kind to the sales guy who had latched on to us (he tried so hard), but there's no way that sofa will be purchased and in our home.  Also, L didn't share my strong feelings about massive, over-sized sofas.  He told me at one point on the first day that he didn't really care what the sofa looks like, which made me laugh and ask him if that was why we were looking at a sectional that would require extra space to recline and that has the option of having a console wedge (complete with a cup holder, which is EXACTLY what I've felt every sofa I've ever had in any housing I've ever lived in was missing) thrown somewhere in the middle. 

We will not be purchasing a sofa that has designated receptacles for beverages. 

As it turns out, L does actually have an opinion about furniture, but he just doesn't know it until I point things out to him that I like.  Anyway, after all that, we decide to just live with what we currently have for the time being and upgrade once we get a better idea for how furniture fits in the new living room.

Also nominated by L for replacement/eventual upgrade: the coffee table, the dining room table and chairs, and the guest bed and bedding.  I agree with l about the coffee table FO SHO.  It's totes time.  I also agree with the bedding for the guest room.  I've secretly wanted to upgrade for a while but didn't think he'd understand why.  This is what we currently have:

It's fine.  The entire bed is what I used prior to marriage.  But I'm over it.  It's very 2004 and bland.  Plus, dupioni silk is not the best fabric for bedding.  My recommendation: never get bedding that you can't just throw in the washing machine.  Anyway, I pointed out this set at Z Gallerie and to my complete and utter surprise, L liked it:

He still does not understand Euro shams or their purpose, nor does he understand needing or wanting more than one, single accent pillow.  But I think the answer to that is that he doesn't have to understand it and he doesn't have to go with me on hunts to find accent pillows.  We went back and purchased it last weekend and the whole experience was a complete 180 from the first weekend we went shopping.  He wanted to show me cool light fixtures he'd seen previously and art work for the living room.  It was amazing!  I also realize that perhaps the difference is that we weren't looking at sofas.  Time will tell.

Since we agreed to hold off on the sofa purchase, we went through a period where we were at odds over what to replace first.  His thought: the guest bed.  Mine: ANYTHING in the living room since we will be using that area daily.  He tried to hold out but I refuse to look at beds right now when we have one that is functional and only one confirmed guest coming in the future and he will. not. care. what kind of bed he's sleeping in.  I agree that the dining room table we currently have is not going to match well in the new place and that it would be nice to have a table with an extension leaf, but it's also hard to reconcile ditching a good, solid-wood table for perhaps something that may end up being crap (although who am I kidding?  We are not replacing our table with something that requires home assembly and a manual in a foreign language).  Also, I have a very weird, sentimental attachment to this table because it's an antique.  It was my grandmother's.  I have no reason to feel attachment to it other than that.  Part of me wonders if we should just paint it (the current stain won't match the cabinets or flooring in the new place) and get new chairs, but that doesn't solve the size problem.  As for the coffee table, I totally agree with L's request to upgrade.  The problem is that he (inexplicably) dislikes glass coffee tables and he's taking a hard stand on this, which I find terribly annoying.  I asked him for an explanation and he thinks they are hazardous.  I pointed out that no one will be dancing on our coffee table and that glass is super easy to clean, but he just ignored me.  We went through something similar when I bought night stands for our bedroom without consulting him.  He would have preferred the night stands that matched the bed or the chest of drawers we bought; I disagreed and purchased some that have a mirrored finish.  I won that one and three years later, the only time he's commented about the night stands was the night he first saw them, so I assume it's fine.  The man just really loves and prefers big, wooden furniture.  This is problematic in a confined space. 

So for now, the moral of the story is that furniture sales people are the worst (waaayyyy too aggressive and poacher-like - JUST LET US LOOK!) but maybe the next time we go looking, it won't be so bad.  Or, maybe we'll end up with a muppet sofa and a super-matchy living room.  But if that happens, it probably means I'm dead or heavily drugged.  Watch for the warning signs, people.