Throw Your Arms Around Me

Long ago I realized that, much to my own dismay and annoyance, I am a magnet for people who desperately need friends.  Seriously, it's inevitable.  I'm in a crowd of people... whoever is having the hardest time fitting in will immediately hone in on whatever frequency I emit that says, Friend to all.  Don't get me wrong- it's nice to be liked and all that.  But it just. never. fails.  My friends have laughed at me for this reason countless times.  I will admit that it has resulted in some long-term friendships on a few occasions, but I had to fight to get beyond the qualities of these individuals that I initially found so irksome.

After Saturday, I can now say that apparently I'm giving off more vibes than just my standard Friend to all.  I had to get up early and go to a Junior League meeting from 8-12 on Saturday (and who doesn't just LOVE the Saturday morning 6:35 wake up alarm that came with it?) and I took the Metro in.  Because I am brilliant, I plotted my trains online the night before and knew I'd take the orange line in and have 3 minutes to switch and get on the red line at 7:47.  Everything was running on schedule.  I was on my game.  And then, as I stood looking at the headlights of the approaching train way down the track and saw the blinking warning lights on the grounding, a homeless woman approached.  At first she just asked what time it was, and my aforementioned brilliance was given a moment in the spotlight as I announced that the train that was coming was on time for its scheduled 7:47 arrival.  And then... she asked for a hug.  I literally had no idea what to do.  I'm not comfortable hugging people I don't know.  I don't even always want to shake their hands.  Plus, I live in a world where I've been taught to be incredibly cautious.  Don't leave your purse unzipped in crowded places.  Don't talk to strangers (obviously I'd already ignored that rule).  Don't take candy or food from strangers.  Don't get in cars with people you don't know.  The list goes on and on.  These are rules all kids are taught from early ages, but as an attractive female (yeah, I said it- I'm attractive.  I have a healthy self-image), society tells me I should be more cautious.  So back to the story.  Homeless lady asks for a hug.  Do I do the nice thing and give her a hug?  Do I cringe and recoil and say, "No, thanks!" and run?  I weighed my options at lightening speed and decided to go in for the hug and keep it brief.  I figured that, being homeless and all, it probably has been a long time since anyone offered her a hug.  Hugs are good for you.  And the train was coming so I knew I could cut it short by getting on the train.  So I kept my purse super close to my body (because of course I immediately wondered if she'd try and slip something out of it mid-hug) gave her a 1-armed hug, she put her head on my shoulder, and then I pulled away and jumped on the train. 

It felt like candid camera or some kind of weird social experiment.  What will the girl in the nice if not somewhat weird but nice outfit (another story for later) do if she's approached by a homeless person??  I guess I passed the test. 

I'm still wondering what made her pick me out of the crowd of people on the platform.  I can only assume I now have an additional sign that indicates I'll give free hugs. 

Don't Drink the Water

L and I are a little late to the party, but we recently found out about a game that I am LOVING the idea of.  If, like me, you were in college at the turn of the millenium and you're a girl, you're probably familiar with malt beverages such as:

Smirnoff Ice,

Skyy Blue,

and Bacardi Silver.

(The only reason I remember this one is because I still have a random key chain- currently attached to our spare house key- that looks like a bottle of Bacardi Silver, compliments of a night out at Carney's.)  Back in the day, these were a step up from wine coolers and served as a nice alternative to beer for anyone who hadn't yet acquired a taste for it and wine, which we weren't yet sophisticated enough to drink at a bar (I cringe at the thought of what wines the bars I hung out in college would have served).  I only remember drinking these up until my junior year.  Perhaps that's due to the fact that I turned 21 that year and could get into bars that served mixed drinks instead of just beer and the aforementioned malt beverages... So anyway, they were cool and had their 15 minutes of social relevancy, but not so much anymore.  I honestly can't remember the last time I had one or saw someone drinking one anywhere.  When I think of Smirnoff Ice, I just remember the tarty-sweetness and the carbonation.  It's just not a taste I prefer to go back to at this point in my life.

But on to the new-found game.  It is currently being played amongst young 20-somethings and is called "Icing."  The only thing I can compare it to is the game that the male staff members play in the movie Waiting.  (Side note: if you haven't seen that movie, it is funny and worth renting.  Plus there's the bonus of Ryan Reynolds being in it and he is quite attractive.)  The goal of icing your unsuspecting friends is to get your them to look at a Smirnoff Ice.  When they do, they have to drink it.  Why is this funny?  Because as I previously mentioned, I have no desire to drink the same adult g beverages I drank prior to being able to legally purchase them.  If I were to show up at a party with a six-pack of any of the beverages pictured above, I'm completely certain I would be greeted with puzzled looks and ridicule.  (My friends are great like that.  We do hold each other accountable for our bad decisions.)  So if you happen to get iced and have to drink a Smirnoff Ice, another fun rule is to institute a drink of shame.  One of L's co-workers told L that in his group, they make each other "shame drink" by forcing the drinker to down the whole bottle while on one or both knees. 

Obviously if your group of friends plays this game, you start to get wise to the game, which prompts the need for my favorite part of the game: creativity.  For example, hiding a Smirnoff Ice in a friend's purse and then calling her cell phone so that she digs through her purse and finds the bottle.  The possibilities for hiding bottles or playing switcheroo with a beer bottle are endless. 

This game comes at the PERFECT time: football season.  I encourage all of you to go buy a 6-pack of a malternative (malt-alternative) beverage and ice your friends at your next casual social gathering!  I guarantee it will garner laughter and lots of fun.  Happy football season and happy icing!!!

You give me fever

My new bffs this week:

 

 

and

 

 

Being sick is so lame.  L and I were in Dallas all weekend for Labor Day and had a fab time, but I definitely caught a stomach bug while we were at his parents' house on Saturday (I know this because my two brothers-in-law on L's side also had the same thing as me).  I started feeling "off" when we got to the airport on Monday afternoon but I was able to make it through the flight just fine.  As soon as we got home, I knew something was wrong.  L spent the night on the couch (along with Tuesday and Wednesday nights) and I spent the night making trip after trip to the bathroom and sleeping for about 2 hours.  It goes without saying that I've had better nights.  Tuesday morning arrived and brought with it fever that didn't care to leave me until Thursday morning.  When I realized fever was involved around 4:00 a.m. on Tuesday, I decided to look up my symptoms (nausea, fever, achiness) online on Monday night/Tuesday morning, and here are the options I was given:

• Mono
• Gastroenteritis (a.k.a., stomach flu)
• Tuberculosis
• AIDS
• Appendicitis
• Diverticulitis
• Pancreatitis
• Hepatitis
• Colitis
• Ear Infection
• Pyelonephritis (a.k.a., kidney infection)
• Meningitis

This is precisely why you should never look up your symptoms on medical websites.  I know for sure I have two (possibly more if it's a bad day) friends that I can guarantee would have immediately started thinking it was more than stomach flu.  Given that I don't engage in risky sexual behavior, I immediately knew I could rule out AIDS and Hepatitis.  I also felt safe ruling out Appendicitis, since I lacked the tell-tale extreme pain in my appendix region.  I also ruled out mono because while I was extremely fatigued, it wasn't any more extreme than what I would normally expect for a night spent running to and from the bathroom with minimal sleep.  I have no idea why TB came up since the only matching symptoms were fever and sweatiness, so that one was out.  I've had a kidney infection so I know what that feels like, and it's not what I've felt like this week.  I might have an ear infection, but since when do those lead to barfing and upset tummies?  Anyway, it pretty much just confirmed what I already knew- I have some variation of the stomach flu.  I just thought it was funny that so many other options came up and that several of them seemed incredibly extreme.

 

You might be wondering, "Stupid Team LC, why didn't you go to the doctor?"  Well, I tried.  I got frustrated on Wednesday afternoon because my fever just would NOT go away (high was 101.0, then it dropped and hovered around 99.3 for hours) so I went to Minute Clinic.  I waited an hour and a half before the doctor called me in and the doctor lady asked me what was wrong.  I started from the beginning and mentioned that I had started off with stomach flu symptoms and before I could go any further and tell her that I didn't have those same problems anymore, she informed me that I "looked kinda rough" and that I needed to go to the urgent care clinic that's like 5 miles away.  Um, wtf???  She apologized for my wait time and reiterated that I looked rough and when I asked why I needed to go to urgent care for my fever, she explained it was because that's where stomach issues are treated in case IV fluids need to be administered.  Then she gave me the address, asked me if I knew where the street was (I did but that mean I automatically KNOW WHERE THE PLACE IS- hello, I'm not a GPS) and booted me out.  Was it necessary to tell me TWICE that I looked like a homeless person?  I DON'T THINK SO.  Thanks for kicking me while I was down, Doc.  I know what I looked like- cargo pants, a Threadgill's t-shirt, hair in a messy pony tail, and no make up.  I know what that looks like.  And I didn't care because I felt bad, which should obviously go without saying because that's why people go to Minute Clinic in the first place.  So I went to my car, called L, and broke down in tears.  Because that's productive and helpful.  I just had no idea what to do and I was so frustrated and tired of feeling so bad.  I don't get sick very often but let me tell you, when I do, I go down hard.  I opted to NOT go sit in another line at another clinic and toughed it out at home. 

Fast forward to this morning and I woke up without fever, so that mean that I met my criteria for being able to go to work: no fever, no nausea/vomiting, no longer contagious.  So I dressed for comfort and spent the day guzzling water from my giant insulated cup that I've had since the summer of '98 (how I still have it, I do not know).  This might be TMI, but apparently I'm so dehydrated that after drinking 2 of those (and it's a BIG cup) and more water when I got home, I've only had to use the restroom once.  Not a good sign.  So I'm continuing to drinkdrinkdrink in hopes that it gets me back on track.  The super good news is that I've actually eaten twice today and both were legit meals.  This is a big step for me this week. 

And now we're re-packing for another wedding this weekend.  It could be super fun (and I hope it will be).  It could also be the undoing of my road to recovery.  Here's to hoping it's a fun weekend with friends and that I'm feeling even better tomorrow after lots of good sleep tonight.